Help–Continue co-sleeping or CIO???
My 6 mo old daughter has slept in our room since birth, first in a cosleeper and now in our bed. We all sleep well and neither of us mind the situation. My daughter wakes a few times in the night and nurses briefly and then drifts off to sleep. Daytime naps are more of the same or in her swing. When I place her in her crib naps are short lived. I am going back to work in 2 mo and she will have to go to daycare 3 days a week. I am extremely concerned that she will have trouble napping there because she won’t be given the sleep aids that she currently has, so as a favor to her I feel like I need to sleep train her now. So far I’ve followed the Dr. Sears/attachment parenting theory and my lactation consultant tells me know to drop all night feeds because it can help to keep up my supply when I return to work. What should I do? I’m so conflicted…I just want her transition and time spent in daycare to be successful!
Please don’t suggest that I quit my job. Thanks!
I hate the idea of making her CIO. All my friends, who are wonderful people, have resorted to CIO and say it is brief period of yuckiness. There children are well-adjusted and good sleepers (they range in age from 5 years to 18 mo). I have tried putting her in her crib asleep and then going in and soothing her when she wakes, but she wakes every 45 minutes or so so I just cave and bring her back to our bed.
My friends who work full time, ALL cosleep because they feel that they get little enough time with their kids, and to be honest, my cosleepers have all done a good job transitioning when they were ready. DON’T drop night time feeds! If she’s at daycare during the day, she won’t actually get milk from you! Expressed is fine, but still…I’d keep nursing, and be prepared to pump during the day at work so that your baby has your milk while at daycare. If you do it at each of your breaks, and store it, you can send it to day care with her, and then still maintain your supply. I can’t believe a LC would tell you differently.
The good news is that at day care, the environment will be completely different. She won’t expect all the sleep aids that she has at home because she’s not at home. I’d work more on her transition to day care, although at six months that will be different enough.
I personally wouldn’t do CIO.
You sound like you have a very contented little baby at the moment, and if you are all happy with the current situation, then i wouldn’t change it.
You may find when she goes to daycare, she is completely different to when she is at home. I know my kids do things differently when they are at their grandparents houses.
Good luck…i know it’s a hard situation for you.
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you daughter may suprise you, i was so worried about my sons first day of school, I stressed over it for weeks, the first day of school came and the only one crying was me, he did awsome..
also i would put her in her own room for sure, I never let my children sleep with me because i saw first hand how it ended when it came time for their own room. being as she is only 6months, i think she will do okey
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We co-sleep and my son goes to daycare.
Yes, he had a *slight* transition with adjusting to naps at daycare, but nothing that he didn’t get used to in about a week. Right now, at daycare he naps in a crib or in the swing. Usually, if he falls asleep in his teachers arms, then they lay him in the crib. If he’s cranky and just wants to rest before napping, they put him in his swing.
If you are happy with co-sleeping, I say keep doing it. Most daycare providers have dealt with this issue in the past and are very good at working with your child to get them comfortable.
Personally, I don’t agree with CIO… But if you do, then go for it.
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i wouldn’t do the cio. at 6 months old, the cio method will not work. cio is really meant for babies over 16 months. before that they can’t really understand.
she will adjust fine to day care. children adjust rather quickly. so if cosleeping is working for you then do it.
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I only recommend CIO when it is something a parent wants. A child independently sleeping in their own crib. I do agree with the CIO method and I know I will get slammed. But you have to want the baby out of your bed. There is no reason to do it just because they are going to daycare. Babies are very good at sorting who does what with them. And if you do not want her out of your bed and you do the CIO method, you will not feel good about it.
If you are trying to keep your milk supply up after going to work I would suggest you start pumping now. Then you have a good supply of milk for daycare and no worries about your supply when you go back to work.
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15 years as a nanny/maternity nurse.
Get a second opinion on stopping the night feeds to help keep up your supply. That doesn’t sound right to me.
No one can tell you what to do, but CIO is very much different than the Dr. Sears/AP style…. almost like breaking the ‘laws’ of those parenting style. I fully understand what you’re getting at, but IMO, sleep training could not be considered a ‘favor’ to an infant.
I’d suggest keeping your regular routine at home and seeing how your daughter adjusts to daycare. She’ll learn the difference between home with mommy & school with teachers soon enough. Just because she’s not going to be bf’d or snuggled to sleep at daycare doesn’t mean she needs to be double whammied by stopping that at home too.
Good Luck with your decision. I’m sure it will all work out.
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You do not need to quit your job. Assuming you have done your research, I’m sure the daycare you have found is very good. Child care providers are trained to look after babies and they will not let your baby cry herself to sleep.
If co-sleeping is working, go with it. Some people co-sleep until well beyond the baby years! If the only options you are considering are co-sleeping or CIO, I would definitely suggest co-sleeping but I am not an advocate of the CIO method and have not found it to work at all (although I have not given it a fair shot, and will not).
Try the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution".
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My son was the same way, and would NOT sleep in a crib until…well a few weeks ago (he just turned 1) — but I didn’t push it either. I think you have to be prepared to make the crib her sleeping place and nowhere else (at least until she gets used to it). I never let my son just cry it out either. I tried sooo many things and here’s what finally worked:
Nighttime was easier to get him adjusted than daytime. At night we’d do our routine and place him in his crib. My husband and I would let him fuss for 10-15 mins (for her maybe just try 5 at first, then double it) go in, comfort and we would repeat that until he fell asleep. The first night was pretty long, but went MUCH better than I thought it would. The second night was better yet! And the by the third night he was used to it. (thank God!)
Naps were a different kind of beast. The first day I put him in his crib for a nap he screeeeeaaaamed. So I actually got in with him to lay down. I didn’t want him to think his crib is a scary place and I didn’t want him to be insecure about it. We took a nap together that day (in his crib). He completely refused the second nap of the day (but at least that made him good and tired for nighttime!). The next day he did better. I didn’t have to get in with him, and he took both naps (short, but he took them). And by the third day he took 2 naps, both the "normal" length.
Transitioning him wasn’t as awful as I had expected it to be. Be prepared for a bit of a fight at first, but I also think it’ll help her transition to daycare better. Good luck!
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My friends who work full time, ALL cosleep because they feel that they get little enough time with their kids, and to be honest, my cosleepers have all done a good job transitioning when they were ready. DON’T drop night time feeds! If she’s at daycare during the day, she won’t actually get milk from you! Expressed is fine, but still…I’d keep nursing, and be prepared to pump during the day at work so that your baby has your milk while at daycare. If you do it at each of your breaks, and store it, you can send it to day care with her, and then still maintain your supply. I can’t believe a LC would tell you differently.
The good news is that at day care, the environment will be completely different. She won’t expect all the sleep aids that she has at home because she’s not at home. I’d work more on her transition to day care, although at six months that will be different enough.
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mom to seven
My baby slept with us cause it was easier while I was breastfeeding. I wanted to move him into his own bed so that my husband and I could have our cuddle time back. I started by putting him into his playpen with bassinet beside my bed so that I could still grab him. We got the first half of our night back. I would bring him into our bed in the middle and keep him.Than I moved his playpen further away from me and did the same thing with feeding(it was a little harder on me cause I would actually have to get out of bed. During the day I would put him down for naps in his crib to get him used to it. We also would do his bed time routine in his crib and and read his books and rock in the chair in his room.(let your baby know its a safe place to be). I than tried to put him for his first night in his own room and he slept great. It was harder on me.I still go in to feed him 2-3 times to feed him. But he can hold the bottle by himself so I just give it to him.I still sometimes bring him into my bed in the middle of the night.
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started this when my baby was 6 months and he is now 7 months.